11 Toxic Women To Avoid Getting In A Relationship With.


I have had my share of difficulty when it comes to dating, as I’m sure many so-called “Nice Guys” have.  You’ve heard the saying “Good girls like bad boys”.  First of all, Good Girls don’t like Bad Boys.  Bad Girls like Bad Boys.  These are women that may be very pretty, very popular, and wanted by many men. However, that doesn’t make them “Good Girls”.  These young women can often be very promiscuous, with very ugly personalities, which covers some serious self-esteem issues.

I’m currently reading a book called “The Sacred Search” by Gary Thomas, which is a Christian guide to finding a good marital match. He stated that “Psychologically, women are more likely to experience romantic love with dominant men, even though dominant men typically demonstrate less able to express the kind of companionship, relational skills, and emotional attachment that women ultimately desire in a lifelong mate.”

If this is the case, Mr. Nice guy, you aren’t finishing last.  It’s the so-called “bad boys” that finishes last. The real “Good Girl” is a godly woman, an honest woman, a loving woman.  Unlike the “Bad Girls” listed above, and definitely not like the toxic ones listed below.  If anything you can rest assured that if you stay true to yourself and your faith, and not get overly thirsty, you won’t finish last. But you will finish loved and fulfilled by a woman that is worth the wait.

Below I have listed the various types of toxic women I have come across.  I’m writing this as a warning, and as motivation, to let you know that you don’t have to settle and you don’t have to put up with foolishness for the sake of being with someone.  Eventually, you will meet that special woman and have that special relationship without having to compromise your beliefs or your standards.  But for now, avoid the following toxic women like the plague.

1.Women that Confuse Pugnaciousness for Strength.

Pugnacious: inclined to quarrel or fight readily; quarrelsome; belligerent; combative.

We live in a world where people love foolishness and drama. We see this with the popularity of shows like “Love and Hip-Hop”, “Basketball Wives”, and “The Real Housewives, that portray women, especially African American women, as belligerent, loud, and combative. Sadly, many see these types of women as role-models and as “Strong Women”, thus they mimic their behavior.

I’ve recently seen several social media posts by women stating how they acknowledge the fact that they are combative and difficult to deal with.  They also said that if a man that will put up with such difficult behavior, it means that he really loves them.  This is one of the most foolish things I have ever heard.  These are the same women that will claim there are “No good men” left anymore. However, they readily admit that they will put a man through hell, and if he stays, he loves you?  These people have absolutely no idea how love works.

How can you say you love a person when every day you purposely look to bring them drama? Instead of being kind, humble, understanding, and loving, you chose to be pugnacious.  That is not loving, it’s childish and selfish. These women don’t deserve the “good men” they say they want.

The types of toxic women to getting in relationships wiyh avoid

Since when does being difficult become a requirement to test love? Avoid such foolishness at all cost.

I once dated a woman who was African American and later found out that she didn’t like my sister-in-law because she was white and married to an African American man.  She would say things like, “They (White women) are taking all of our good black men” and “Black men flock to white women because white women like to make their men feel special.”

Excuse me, what?! Are you being serious?!  Since when does being in a relationship not include making the other person feel special? So women, like her, look to get into relationships to put their men down?  And secondly, white women, or any other women, don’t have to take anything.  It’s women like her that drive men away and into the arms of women that “like to make their men feel special” just as a man should want to make his woman feel special because to him she is special.

2.Miss Can’t Think for Herself. The Woman with the Ratchet Friends.

A few years ago I dated a woman who said she wanted a Godly man and a Godly relationship.  She was a leader in the church she attended and a role model for the younger women. One day a friend of hers (another woman in the church) sends her a picture of a half-naked man on Facebook, referencing what she would like to do to him. Several of her other friends (all women in the church) followed suit, making lustful references and pretending to speak in tongues in their shameful display of lust driven insanity.

I called it out, not because of any insecurity, but as a person that claimed to be a “Christian”, her behavior was anything but.  The pastor’s wife even saw it and scolded them saying “how can other women look to them for guidance when they act in such a manner?”

Well, her friends told her that “If she doesn’t have a ring on her finger, she can do what she wants. She can even see other men”.  In other words, it’s ok for her to be unfaithful. Did I mention that none of these “friends” were in relationships or had men of their own?  As the saying goes, “It’s always the woman that doesn’t have a man that will try to tell your woman how she should handle hers.”

“Psychologically, women are more likely to experience romantic love with dominant men, even though dominant men typically demonstrate less able to express the kind of companionship, relational skills, and emotional attachment that women ultimately desire in a lifelong mate.”

I am a man that believes that when I say “Yes” to one woman, I say “No” to every other.  I also protect my relationship.  I don’t go posting half naked women on my Facebook wall, continue talking to ex-girlfriends, and I also won’t do anything that would embarrass my woman or do anything that would call my relationship into question.  Since I don’t do these things I will not deal with women that decide it’s ok to do them.


3.“Oh, He’s My Ex. But We’re Best Friends Now”.

Flames never die if you continue to pour fuel on them.  A woman that constantly talks about her ex, or with her ex, isn’t over her ex.  That or the “ex” isn’t really an “ex” at all.

I’ve made the mistake of dating a woman like this.  She was a worship leader and her ex-boyfriend was the drummer in their band.  I swear not a day went by that she didn’t talk about this guy.  She even had the nerve to have his baby picture asking if I “thought he was a cute baby?” (Yeah, your reaction is the same as mine).

That same night she came over to my place and instead of spending time with me she was texting and giggling on my sofa. I asked who she was texting. I’ll give you one guess who it was. I was livid and promptly kicked her out.  Afterwards, I found out that while dating me she was sleeping with him at the same time. Their musical days at the church promptly ended after this became public knowledge.  Always remember, the things you do in private, will shame you in public.

I too had a co-worker that had no shame when it came to this subject.  She often talked about her live-in boyfriend, while also stating how she still slept around with the father of her son, or should I say “Baby-Daddy”. She even went as far as saying her boyfriend was “insecure” because he didn’t trust her since he knew she still talked with her ex. It baffles me how people want to trust, yet are more than willing to betray that trust.

If you are with a woman that is still caught up with her ex, do yourself a favor and walk away.  This is a woman that doesn’t respect you enough to be committed.  The mouth speaks what’s in the heart, and if she is always talking about her ex, guess where her heart is.

4.The Always Negative Woman.

There are women that day in and day out complain that there are no good men.  The problem is, they don’t know what a good man looks like.  They continuously deal with men that mistreat them and when things go wrong, as they always do, claim that ALL men are no good.  No, sweetie, it’s simply the guys YOU CHOSE to mess with.

Also, there are the women who complain about EVERYTHING.  I met a woman who I wasn’t dating but considering.  One afternoon we went out to dinner with a couple friends.  She complained about how long the service took, complained about how her drink taste, complained about how long it took for the bill to come, and during dinner complained about how much she “hated stupid people”. That night we went to a concert in the park and she spent most of the time making fun of or complaining about how people danced and dressed.  We talked on the phone and she complained about her church and the worship leaders.  This woman is NEVER happy!! It was like talking to Grumpy Smurf.

Good guys, avoid these women like Ebola. If she is always complaining about bad men, she doesn’t know how to treat a good one.  What will happen is this, and I know from experience.  You will hear things like, “You are so different”, “You are too good to be true”, and “Why can’t other guys be like you.”

No Real man would refer to himself as a “nigga”. If you never had a ‘good man” how can know how to treat one?

My sister-in-law and I always knew when a  relationship is about the end. When they say the “P-Word”, things are about to end.  The P-word being “Perfect”.   See, when someone is used to dealing with the bad, they may not be able to appreciate the good, and quickly run back to it.  This is a classic case of infatuation and should be avoided. <Reference infatuation

5.Daddy’s Little Princess.

The spoiled Daddy’s Girl.  Yeah, you’re never going to measure up so why try.  I dated a woman that seriously had everything handed to her.  She was a spoiled suburbanite, not use to making any adult decisions because Daddy (and Mommy) was always there to cover her like a blanket.  Who paid her rent? Who bought her a car? When she wanted those $300 boots, call Daddy.  I know many of you will say “That’s what parents are supposed to do”.  Well, I believe when you become a certain age, like 27 years old, it’s time to grow up.

I dated another woman who was a Momma’s Girl.  She was in her 30’s with a child and still living with mom. Mom was a successful real-estate agent and made lots of money, so again, why make adult decisions when mommy can take care of everything.  One day she asked me about my career goals and finishing school because as she put it, and I quote, “I’m used to a certain lifestyle”. Well sweetheart, get used to another lifestyle, the single one.

These women like to be spoiled by men because they are used to be spoiled and getting their way.  They can’t take “no” for an answer because they’ve been told “yes” their entire lives.  These are typically the stereotypical “Nice girls” because they’ve had the model childhood and went to good schools in good neighborhoods. Unbeknownst to Daddy, his little girl is the wild, party type and gets around.  Perfect relationship material, right?  Spoiled, fast, and often easy.

6.The Gold Digger

Thankfully, I haven’t personally dated one, but I have known several.  You know who they are, so I really don’t need to explain.  All they want is money, fame, and prestige. They will do anything, and anyone, to get it. Money is all that really matters.  I know a woman who said she is looking for a rich man to take care of her and is not one bit ashamed to admit it. I mean, who cares about love as long as he can buy her red bottom heels and a car right?

Several years ago I worked at a call-center, which surprisingly had several women like this.  (Not sure what it is about call-centers and ratchet employees, but I digress). One day I overheard one of them on the phone arguing with a guy she claimed to have just met. She was upset because he bought himself a pair of shoes.  Her exact statement was “How is he going to buy himself shoes when I need my phone bill paid”.  I really just have nothing to say.  She had a job but was so bad at managing her own finances that she couldn’t pay bills.  But she would get mad at a guy who spent his hard earned cash on himself.  Beyond selfish.

7.The Stripper

Do I really need to elaborate on this one? She makes her money shaking her butt and boobs for other men.  And don’t give me the “She’s paying her way through college” story.  I’ve dated two women that were strippers, run away. Trust me on this one.

8.Miss “Dating Rulebook”

Not too long ago Steve Harvey came out with “Think Like a Man”.  Now women everywhere think they were all of a sudden experts on men.  I’ve had a few try to figure me out without success. I’ll give them credit for trying though.

Remember the Always Negative Woman?  Yeah, she had a long list of “rules” of things a guy must follow if they wanted to date her. Now I am a gentleman and will do things like open doors and carry bags. Her list, however, was just ridiculous.  It had like ten rules on it.  One was “The guy should always ask the girl out on a date”.  She said, “Even if we are together, I should never ask to go anywhere”. Well, I’m no mind reader and my crystal ball is in the shop so if you want to go somewhere you’d better speak up.

Another rule was that the guy ALWAYS pays. Yeah, I’m a single dad with two kids and his own bills to pay. Sometimes going Dutch is going to happen or we’re staying in.

I had another girlfriend that got mad at me because I didn’t call a mechanic for her to make an appointment to get her oil changed.  Not only did she say I was “suppose” to take her car in and get it washed and for an oil change, but I was to make the appointment.

I’m not one for too many rules or to be told what to do because the rebel in me comes out.  I do things because I want to do them, not because of some unspoken dating rule book.

9.Miss My Sh*t Doesn’t Stink.

This is the overly pompous woman. The one who likes to remind you of her Master’s degree whenever she gets a chance, which is often.  She believes that since the world revolves around her and so should you.

I dated a woman who often reminded me of how she had a Master’s Degree.  She liked to remind me of how much money she was “Going to make” when she finally found a place that would appreciate her talents and hard work. Whenever we talked it was like talking to a financial planner.  She actually had her credit report framed.  She talked about other guys she dated (Red Flag) and how she tried to help them improve their finances. Keep in mind these were all “ex-boyfriends”. Guessing they got bored of her being controlling as well.

See I didn’t care about her degree, her credit score, or her house.  It’s not mine so whatever.  What I don’t like is being talked down to. This brings another woman was just as bossy. Whenever we went out with friends she would always find fault in what everyone did.  They actually nicknamed her “Judge Judy”.  We went on a trip and the entire time she judged my every action, right down to how I rode the escalator at the mall. She knew everything and her way was the only way.

10.Million Dollar Nickel

Yes, the absolutely gorgeous Instagram bikini model the Million Dollar looks. Unfortunately, this package sometimes comes with a Nickel brain.

I once had a girlfriend that was drop dead gorgeous. However, I couldn’t have an intelligent conversation with her to save my life.  I can freely accept that at the time I was not long divorced and alone.  She came along and infatuation hit me like a Mike Tyson uppercut. Things moved fast, really fast.  The sex was frequent and yes was ridiculously good, but when it came time for more than just physical activities, the relationship was painful.  Mentally painful.

I’m the type of guy that likes to watch documentaries, go to the symphony, and check out an art exhibit.  Simple stuff like that. One weekend I wanted to take a weekend trip to Chicago because the art museum had a Monet exhibit.  I was excited, she thought it would be boring. I asked what she wanted to do, she suggested we go see the Jerry Springer show. I couldn’t hide my disgust and an argument ensued.  We eventually decided to stay home.

Another night she was over and I was helping my then 9-year-old son do his earth science homework.  As I helped him study and quizzed him, she stated how smart he was. I thought nothing of it and asked him what the seven continents were. He answered all but one, so I playfully asked babe to give him with the answer (Which was Antarctica).  She had no clue. So I asked her to name the four oceans. Again, deer in the headlights.  I then asked who the first president of the United States was. Again, nothing.  But later that night a documentary on the history of the porn industry came on television and she was excited to watch that, along with a number of mind-numbing reality shows.

I always thought the really dumb girl was just something you saw on sitcoms.  Well, just like the stereotype of the angry black woman, the dumb gorgeous girl is based on truth.  Things ended because she became very jealous, which leads me to the next type of toxic woman.

Read my article on The 8 Warning Signs That You Are Dangerously Infatuated.

11.The Overly Jealous Woman.

As I stated above, I and the “Million Dollar Nickel” broke up because she became very jealous.  She didn’t like me talking to my sister-in-law on the phone, she didn’t like me talking to my cousin who is more like a sister, she thought my relationship with my mother was too close, she didn’t like that I was friendly with the waitress at Denny’s.  In other words, she was a bitch and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I had another girlfriend that was just as bad.  At one point I had an old, outdated cell phone and was in desperate need of an upgrade.  I ran into a woman from the old neighborhood who conveniently worked for the carrier I used.  She offered me a good deal on a phone and she got a commission. I would call that a win-win.  Well, apparently my girlfriend didn’t.

When I told her about the deal I got her reaction was, “So, how long have you been seeing this chick?”.  Excuse me, what?  Really?  I told her how ridiculous she was being and hung up.  About an hour later, my doorbell rings and guess who it was.  “Where is she?” is all she said? “Where’s who?” I replied. “The chick that gave you the phone, I know she’s here”.

I let her in and led her by the hand to every room, telling to check in closets, under the bed, behind the shower curtain, everywhere.  I then told her to get out.  Anyone who is that crazy is definitely not someone I want to be in a relationship with.


If I could give one final piece of advice to my fellow nice guys I would say this.  Know your worth, be yourself, be confident, and don’t compromise who you are to get someone else to like you.  I live in the United States where there are over 300 million people. Over 50% are female and about 75% of those are over 18.  Your odds of meeting a good woman are pretty good so don’t lose your mind over one of these types.   If you avoid the toxic women listed above, you will save yourself from having to learn the lessons I’ve had to learn the hard way.  I took it for the team so you don’t have to.


Terrell CottonTerrell Cotton is a motivational blogger and a full-time single father of two boys who are his heart and soul.  His blog, Terrellcotton.com, is dedicated to helping men become better versions of themselves by building on biblical principles of authentic manhood and fatherhood.








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