What Does It Mean To Be A Man? 10 Rules That Define Authentic Biblical Manhood.

“You seek the heights of manhood when you seek the depths of God.” Edwin Louis Cole

What is authentic manhood?  What is authentic fatherhood?  I wonder if I were to ask 10 random guys these questions what answers would I receive?  Sadly, our society has twisted and corrupted what it means to be a man and a father.

Many are taught that manhood starts when you turn 18. That manhood involves making money, having power, and sleeping with as many women as you can.  We live in an age where women are left to raise children alone, taking the role of father and mother. We live in a time where fathers are portrayed as unintelligent buffoons, often worse than the children, on television. A time where being a “Baby-Daddy” is 100% acceptable, and a man isn’t expected to step to the plate and be the head of the household. As long as he pays child support and shows up on weekends he’s considered a “Good man”. This is part of the problem we face.

Sadly, we have become lost when it comes to knowing the meaning of true, authentic manhood. And if we have become lost in knowing what authentic manhood is, how can we teach men to become true authentic fathers?

I did a study on what it takes to be an authentic man, a biblical man.  I figured that our society has twisted the meaning of manhood and fatherhood too much that the best place to go is to the Father himself. What does the Bible have to say about the subject of manhood and fatherhood?



The Biblical Man

 



1. A Biblical Man Is Spiritually Strong. He Does Not Waiver In His Faith And Stands Firm On Laws Of Truth.


Psalms 28: 7-8

7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

8 The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

 In the world we live in it isn’t easy to stand firm for what we know is morally right.  A biblical man doesn’t follow the world’s flawed view of right and wrong.  Morality is quickly fading in front our very eyes, but he stands firm in the knowledge that God’s truth is the only real truth no matter what anyone else may say. We live in a world that believes it is so liberal in its thinking and believes they know better than God saying  he is out of touch and needs to change. Even those that claim to follow him, those that call themselves teachers of his word, will try to find loopholes, those so-called “Gray Areas”so that people can live comfortable in their sin and tell God “you are wrong”.

The biblical man prays daily and looks to God for direction.  He doesn’t bend nor does he waver when it comes to his faith because he knows it is not his strength, but the strength of God that carries him through daily life.  He stands firm on the laws of God and the teaching of Christ and will not let the world shakes his belief.



2. A Biblical Man is Equipped Himself in the Armor of God.


As stated above, in the world we live in it isn’t easy to stand firm for what we know is morally right. He understands that the battle we face isn’t just a physical one. More importantly, he understands that the battle is spiritual.  That is also why a biblical man equips himself with the “Armor of God” as described in Ephesians 6:14-17

Ephesians 6: 14-17

: 14 Stand firm, then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the- breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.


A biblical man wears the Belt of Truth. He knows God hates a lying tongue (See Proverbs 6: 16-17). In a world where lies and deceit are commonplace, he remains trustworthy and faithful.

He puts on the Breastplate of Righteousness. This righteousness is not of himself, but of Christ.  In ancient times the breastplate was worn to protect a warrior’s vital organs. The breastplate of the righteousness protects the heart since the heart is easily deceived.  It also protects the spirit from the evils of this world, because the man that is focused on righteous things doesn’t have time to indulge in foolishness.

His feet are fitted with the Gospel of Peace. The biblical man is ready at all times to stand for truth. His feet are equipped not that he would go spread lies and deceit. His feet are equipped so that he would spread peace and share the message of the gospel to those that would listen.  They allow him to stand firm and at all times be ready to walk into battle and proclaim truth.

The biblical man is equipped with the Shield of Faith, which is used to block the attacks that not only come against his spirit but also protects the rest of the armor. As listed in the scripture, the Shield of Faith “extinguished all the fiery arrows of the evil one”, meaning anything thrown at him is blocked by his faith in the Lord so that he never has to doubt God’s faithfulness.

The biblical man is equipped with the Helmet of Salvation, which protects his mind.  He is always centered on righteousness and is assured of his salvation.  His mind is protected from things like false doctrines which would push him away from the salvation he has.

Finally, he wields the Sword of the Spirit.  The sword isn’t a defensive piece of armor, but an offensive weapon used in battle. The sword of the spirit is the Word of God, the Bible. The biblical man studies the word daily, he meditates on it and is always ready to use it destroy anything that comes against him.



3. A Biblical Man Abstains From Sexual Immorality.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 NIV

3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;


I can already sense the anxiety over this one. But yes, the biblical man abstains from sexual immorality.  Our society tells that sex outside of marriage is ok. That as long as you “love each other.” We believe the lies that it is impossible to abstain from sex until marriage.  I have even had people say that if you have already had sex, that it no longer matters if you decide to follow God because it is too late. People also consider this a so –called “gray area” when it comes to being a Christian.

First, let me say that as I already stated above, the biblical man stands on God’s truth, not that of the world.  How often have you seen politicians, celebrities, and athletes, lose everything because of sexual immorality?  Lives are destroyed, careers ended, families are broken up, over this very issue.  And as far as the lie that once you have had sex it no longer matters.  So if I was a thief and decided to follow Christ, should I continue to steal since I was a thief before? Or if I was a drug addict, should I continue using drugs?  Hey, I did it before, so why stop now if it doesn’t matter right?  Why is it that when it comes to fornication, these rules don’t apply?  We call them “gray areas” because we want to be rebellious and comfortable in our sin. We are so vain as to tell an Almighty God that he is wrong. I’m just going to call it what it is. And the Word of God is clear on sexual immorality.

1 Corinthians 6:9

“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,”

So what is Sexual Immorality

  • Sexual Immorality includes sex outside of marriage, which is fornication.
  • Sexual immorality includes sex with anyone other than your wife, which is adultery.
  • Sexual immorality is sex with anything except your wife. This includes masturbation and sexual toys.
  • Sexual immorality is seeking anything for sexual arousal besides your wife. This includes looking at women for sexual pleasure and pornography.

I know what you may be thinking right now. “There is nothing wrong with looking” or “If I am single I can look all I want”. While I recognize there are attractive people in the world, when you look at her and decide in your mind to imagine her naked and having sex with her, this is sexual immorality.  I don’t care if it’s on TV, in a magazine, the Victoria Secret store ad, or the woman walking down the street.  Jesus said it this way.

Matthew 5:28

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.



4. A Biblical Man Treats Women with respect.

1 Timothy 5:2 (NLT)

2Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.

A biblical man doesn’t mistreat women.  He doesn’t look at them as sexual objects but respects them as if they were his mother and sister.  He knows that biblical women are the daughters of God, and he knows better than to mistreat a daughter of God.

If he is in a relationship the biblical man is careful to guard the woman he is involved with. He is forthcoming and honest with her, setting boundaries to guard the relationship against sin. He guards her heart by being faithful. He doesn’t involve himself with multiple women, he doesn’t sleep around, and he doesn’t tarnish her name.  He also guards her purity by not forcing her into sexual immorality. He doesn’t treat her as a tool for his own sexual gratification.


Biblical Fatherhood



1 Timothy 5:8

8 But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.


I know many men (I use the word loosely) that have numerous children by multiple women.  They don’t commit to any of these women and aren’t involved in the children’s lives. The scripture above says that a man who doesn’t provide for his family is worse than an infidel.

Sadly enough, men aren’t expected to be true fathers now.  We live in a society where it is accepted that a man has numerous children and sleeps around.  We are taught that being a father is about getting women pregnant and paying child support. That actually committing isn’t a requirement.

I know a woman whose daughter got involved with a guy that already had four kids by four other women.  The daughter got pregnant not once, but twice.  A couple years ago she told me they planned to get engaged. I talked to her a couple months ago, and still no ring. But she said that “He’s a good man”. This is the problem, most people don’t know what a good, or father, even looks like.

Being a single father I know how important it is to be the foundation of the home.  When I divorced I could have been one of those men that left his children with the mother and went about my way. But I refused to let anyone else raise my boys. Children need their father.  Not a “Baby-Daddy”, a father.

So what does biblical father looks like?



5. A Biblical Father Equips His Children With The Armor of God.


I explained what the Armor of God is so I won’t go over it again. But a biblical father doesn’t just equip himself, he teaches his children to be equipped as well. In an age of reality TV and social media, it is vital that fathers teach their children to live a Godly life.  Truth, faith, righteousness, the gospel of peace, these are the principles he teaches his children. A biblical father doesn’t teach his sons that manhood is about money, power, and sleeping with as many women as he can. He is the model of a righteous man so that sons will follow after him and his daughters know to find a man like him.



6. A Biblical Fathers Gives His Children What They Need. Not Want They Want.

He provides what his children needs, not everything they want.  I’ve seen kids spoiled rotten by parents who think that providing for their children is all financial. They can go to the best schools, have all the named brand clothes, be Mr. and Ms., and yet have no foundation when it comes to the principles of right and wrong.

A biblical father provides for his children, but he doesn’t place anything in their path that will make them stumble. Too many parents provide stumbling blocks for their children and then wonder where things go wrong when the teenage daughter becomes pregnant or the son is arrested.

Now I am not saying that children that are taught won’t stray because I have seen kids show up in church every Sunday, go to youth group week in and week out, disappears for a year or so and come back with a newborn baby. I don’t know what happens in their home, but when you leave it up to the youth pastor to teach your kids and don’t provide the foundation at home, these things will happen.

As the father, you are the spiritual leader of your home. You teach them about the armor of God, about sexual immorality, so that when they go out into the world they remember what they have been taught and don’t get caught up in foolishness.  Give them what they need, not what they want.  A biblical father isn’t afraid to tell his children “No”.



7. A Biblical Father is to be the Spiritual Leader of His Home and the Example of Godly Manhood.

As stated before, the Biblical father is the example of what Godly manhood looks like. What good will it do to teach your children, yet do things contrary to what you teach? The only thing you are teaching your children is what it is like to be a hypocrite.

I know because I have done this. I have taught my sons about sexual immorality, while I would go and have sex with my girlfriend.  I was convicted of this and decided that enough was enough.  I had to practice what I preached.  I had to be the example, in my home, of what Godliness looks like.  This means I had to watch my words, be careful in what I listened too and the television shows I watched.

Believe or not your children pay very close attention to what you do. What are you teaching them? Because if you don’t teach your sons how to be Godly men and your daughters’ what a Godly man looks like, they will learn what the rest of the world considers a man to be from things such as music that promote misogyny and violence, and television that will teach them it’s ok to be whores. You teach them and show them the right way. Lead by example.  All your actions should be a product of your faith. Let your children see it.



The Biblical Husband



8. A Biblical Husband Is To Love His Wife As Christ Loved The Church.

Ephesians 5:25

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.


A biblical husband loves his wife and makes her a priority.  A biblical woman needs righteousness, truth, and strength from their man.  What she doesn’t need is the garbage that a majority of other men offer their women.  A true biblical woman doesn’t need a man who thinks he’s a player, she doesn’t need a man that hangs out in the street, she doesn’t need a man that won’t work, and she doesn’t need a man that won’t take care of his kids.



9. A Biblical Husband Says Yes To His Wife And No To Every Other Woman.

As a husband, you realize that there must be boundaries when it comes to guarding your marriage. You recognize that when you said “yes” to your wife, you said “no” to every other woman.  You realize that having too many “friends” of the opposite sex isn’t a good thing because while your intentions may be pure, theirs may not be. And it is pure stupidity to keep communicating with ex-girlfriends. If there was a spark before, it can become a fire later by continuing to confide in “Old flames”.  You need to burn those bridges down completely and cut communication.  It has nothing to do with insecurity, it has everything to do with respecting your wife. If you aren’t ready to let go of old girlfriends and sexual partners, you aren’t ready to be a husband.



10. A Biblical Husband Is Not Afraid To Be Repentant And Honest With His wife.

As men, we can have a problem with opening up and admitting our mistakes.  But the Biblical Husband is honest with his wife. He isn’t afraid to be open with her, to communicate with her, and he isn’t afraid to say “I’m sorry” when he is wrong.  We all have heard that communication is the key to a successful relationship. This is said because it’s true.  A biblical man isn’t afraid to communicate with his wife, as she shouldn’t be afraid to do so with him.



Conclusion.

Manhood is a process. It doesn’t just happen when a boy turns 18 because many boys remain so well into their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond.   Manhood isn’t determined by age, but by the heart. It takes maturity to be a man. Any fool can make a baby, this doesn’t make one a man and doesn’t make him a father.  Let’s reverse the trend of fatherless homes, abandoned children, heartbroken women. It’s time for men to grow up, and definitely, time for men to show up.  I pray that you allow God and the love of Christ to guide in your journey to authentic manhood.


 

About me - Terrellcotton.comTerrell Cotton is a motivational blogger and a full-time single father of two boys who are his heart and soul.  His blog, Terrellcotton.com, is dedicated to helping men become better versions of themselves by planting the seeds for authentic manhood, fatherhood, and entrepreneurship.

 

 

 

 


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